My “baby” turns two next month, and we’re oh-so-quickly approaching a milestone that is both exciting and sad at the same time: weaning. While I’m going to be VERY happy to “reclaim my boobs,” I also find myself scared to wean, which is something I didn’t expect.
Aside from the obvious worry about pain as I try to “dry up,” my biggest fear is that I will lose our special moments at bedtime. We’ve always nursed to sleep, and when AB was younger, she would slowly drift off into a milk-drunk slumber in my arms. She was so peaceful, softly breathing and utterly relaxed. Sometimes her eyelids would flutter as she dreamed whatever it is that babies dream about. I could hardly take my eyes off her to lay her in her own crib.
Now that she is older, she rarely falls right to sleep, but instead will sit up afterwards and snuggle with me. She will tell me what’s on her mind, whether it’s the toy she wants to sleep with, or what color hair everyone in our family has. These whispered conversations absolutely melt my heart. We have to share each other’s company with the rest of the family during the day, but these moments before bedtime are ours alone. I wonder if when we stop nursing, will we ever have moments like this again?
It’s funny because I never saw myself as “that mom” who would end up nursing a toddler. Even though the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until at least two years of age, the single response I receive when someone finds out I’m still nursing is ASTONISHMENT.
I’m so happy and proud that we made it this far, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to having a bit more freedom. I have a work trip scheduled a few months from now, so that actually creates a concrete deadline to wean. Even still, I haven’t been able to bring myself to officially “start” the process. I keep telling myself that there is plenty of time. Or maybe I just wish there was plenty of time.
I worried that AB would be devastated to give up nursing, but it seems like really it is I who am scared to wean! My baby isn’t really a baby anymore, and she needs me less already. I know it’s a part of growing up, but it really is so hard to let go sometimes!
What about you mamas? Do you ever miss nursing? Was there anything that made weaning easier for you?
Helpful weaning resources:
- Mama’s Milk is All Gone – a book made for toddlers to help them better understand what’s happening and make a smoother transition through the weaning process.
- LaMa Bra for Breastfeeding Engorgement Relief – comes with removable velvety cold packs
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