Why relationship experts say we should stop “holding it” and that couples who fart in front of each other have a better love life than those who don’t.
I still remember the first time I went #2 at my husband’s house.
At the time, we were still just boyfriend and girlfriend and I was beyond mortified at the idea. But well, when you gotta go, you gotta go, and this was an emergency.
I was worried that he’d be totally grossed out, but interestingly, my emergency bathroom situation served as an ice-breaker of sorts.
From that point on, we were totally comfortable in front of each other.
That’s not to say all the “mystery” was gone, but at least we didn’t have to pretend that we didn’t poop or fart anymore. What a relief!
To this day we still laugh about the time my husband “poisoned” me with expired ranch dressing. It was a turning point in our relationship.
You’re More Likely to Hear “I Love You” Before a Fart
It turns out that I’m not the only one who was afraid to talk about smelly business in front of the person I was dating.
A recent study found that couples wait an average of 6 months before passing gas in front of each other. Even millennials, who have a reputation for being bolder, still wait an average of 3 months before letting the first farts fly in the presence of their significant other.
That might not sound too unreasonable — it takes time to feel comfortable around someone you’re dating, right?
However, the same studies found that people are more likely to say “I love you” to their partner first.
That’s right, statistically couples feel safer saying the “L-word” to each other sooner than they feel like it’s ok to fart in front of each other.
But the “experts” say that we’re doing things backwards!
Do Couples Who Fart in Front of Each Other Stay Together Longer?
There understandably aren’t a lot of super-scientific studies on the subject, however, many relationship experts theorize that farting in front of each other is a good sign for couples.
Author and self-professed Fart Defender™ Tracy Moore explains that farts can show “humanity, vulnerability, and closeness.”
Believe it or not, there is also some evidence to suggest that farting can lead to a better sex life.
In an interview with HuffPost, psychologist and sex therapist Shannon Chavez explains that people who fart freely are more “comfortable with their bodies and what they do.” They may be more adventurous and be more willing to try new things.
From a practical standpoint, it seems unlikely that couples who never feel comfortable farting around each other are going to go the distance.
If you’re worried that a fart could harm the relationship, then there are obviously some deeper issues at hand.
Why Experts Say We Should Stop “Holding It”
There’s no denying that there is social stigma against farting in public.
At an early age, we learn that farts and other bodily functions are shameful and should be done privately and not talked about.
Chavez says that “this early programming can come up in our romantic relationships where someone feels inhibited or embarrassed by just the thought of it.”
So we hold it.
We pretend that we don’t do those things out of fear that the person we’re dating will be grossed out and not want to be around us anymore.
There are probably more than a few people who will think I’m crazy or gross for even writing about it!
Here’s the thing — everyone farts. A LOT. In fact, people fart an average of 10 times a day!
Farts are simply gases that are produced during digestion.
Attempting to hold in all that gas can be downright uncomfortable. It can also be unhealthy — for both for your body and your relationship.
So, if you’ve been “holding back,” go ahead and take that next step in your relationship. Speaking from experience, it can be a game-changer!
And if you’re already on that level, pat yourself on the back because it’s apparently one of the building blocks for a strong marriage and a rockin’ love life!
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