This was the response I got when I checked in on a friend of mine who recently delivered her baby via C-section.
When I spoke with her at her baby shower a couple months prior, she was excited and optimistic. She told me that she had prepared herself for that outcome just in case, so that she would be ready for whatever the big day might bring. However, when I checked in with my friend after I saw her birth announcement, I got the feeling that it was not at all what she expected.
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Having endured a traumatic labor that ended in an unplanned C-section, I understand firsthand the emotions that come with the experience. I was VERY unprepared for the possibility that I would have anything but a natural birth – I just didn’t think it would happen to me.
But as I learned, so much of the birthing process is out of our control.
It seems that there is an explosion in the number of cesarean births over the past couple decades. Every single friend, every mere acquaintance of mine that has had a baby in the past two years has done it by C-section – except one. That is staggering statistic.
Even though you’ve got plenty of company, it doesn’t change the fact that a C-section is likely not what you had in mind for your birth plan. Surgery is a scary, often last-minute decision, and brings with it a long, painful recovery – both physical and emotional.
A C-section was not what I wanted. But a year later, I’m here to tell you, my fellow C-section mamas, that it is ok. I am ok. You will be ok. And all of these things that seem so hard right now, and that feeling of being “different,” well, they won’t last forever.
5 Things All C-Section Mamas Need to Hear
Your scar will fade.
It seems impossible in those first few days, weeks, and even months after surgery. The angry red gash across my lower abdomen terrified me – I couldn’t even look at it for the longest time. I was convinced that I was permanently disfigured. But then one day I glanced down and realized it was barely visible anymore, it was just a thin, light line – a tiny souvenir of everything I had been through.
The pain will go away.
You’ll be too doped up in the hospital to feel much of anything, but they don’t want you on serious pain meds for long, so in a few days you’ll be weaning down to simple ibuprofen. It will hurt to sit up, it will hurt to laugh, it will hurt to sneeze – it will hurt to do just about anything!
But like your scar, the pain will fade. You might still get twinges near your incision in the months to come (nerves reattaching), but they will subside and without the pain as a reminder, you’ll find that you hardly even think about how your baby got here.
You Won’t Rip Your Incision Open.
When my nurse ordered me (nicely, of course) to get up and walk the day after surgery, I panicked. Wasn’t my stomach cut wide open less than 24 hours ago?! Surely it would rip right apart if I tried to stand up, let alone stumble down the hallway. But it didn’t. And I was (like you will be) so overly cautious that there was nothing to worry about.
Your Muscles Will Re-Learn What to Do.
The first time I attempted to exercise, I was discouraged to find that my muscles wouldn’t do what my brain was telling them. I couldn’t jump. I couldn’t lift my knees. I couldn’t even begin to do a crunch. But I kept trying. And slowly, my body “remembered” how to do these once-simple tasks. A year later I can do everything that I was able to before surgery, even if it did take loads of practice and patience.
Read about how I lost the baby weight while breastfeeding and my 5 essential weight loss tips for breastfeeding moms.
You’ll Stop Worrying About How Your Baby Arrived.
This might have been the hardest one for me. My labor couldn’t have been farther from what I had imagined and hoped for, and that was a crushing blow. I felt cheated, I felt like a failure.
Every time I saw new baby photos in my Facebook newsfeed, I just had to click through and scour the comments for clues as to how that baby got here. Did this mama actually have a “regular” birth? Or was she like “the rest of us?”
And then one day it just didn’t seem to matter anymore. I’m not sure why or how I suddenly got over it, but I did. I have more pressing things to worry about now, like when will I ever get a full night’s sleep again?!
Read the game-changing toddler sleep tip that finally let us all sleep through the night.
So mamas, wherever you are at in your recovery, hang in there!
Time heals – it really does. But don’t beat yourself up if you’re feeling sad, or scared, or tired, or anything less than perfect – we’ve all been there! We get through it, and you will too. The reward is worth every stitch, every struggle, and every stretch mark! And aren’t these things that all mothers can pretty much relate to anyways? In the end, we’re not really as different as we think.
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