Motherhood is lonely, and sometimes it feels like you lose yourself along the way. But mamas, you’ve GAINED so much more.
Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost a bit of myself since becoming a mom.
Do you ever feel that way?
Motherhood is lonely sometimes. Especially when you’re in the trenches of it, so busy that you hardly remember what day of the week it is.
Especially as a stay at home mom, it can feel like you lose touch with the “real world.”
There are days where dinner time rolls around and I realize I haven’t left the house all day. Or days where I don’t have an in-person conversation with an adult besides my husband.
It’s days like those where it is easy for us moms to feel like we’ve lost ourselves….
Lost old friends.
Yes, it can feel like we lose a lot in motherhood.
And maybe we do, a little.
But I want you to know that you’ve gained SO much more.
Here’s the way I look at it…
See, I didn’t “lose” my birth name.
I gained a new name: MOM.
Or mama, mommy, mooooommmmm…I gained LOTS of new names!
And I kind of like the sound of it.
Your birth name is given to you. MOM is a title that is earned.
I haven’t lost my old friends.
I learned who my real friends are.
The friends who understand that you can’t always make girls night because the kids are sick or because it’s a school night. The friends that forgive you when you forget to call for too long because life managing a household is overwhelming.
Becoming a mom has taught me to treasure the time I DO get to spend with my best girl friends even more.
I didn’t lose my body.
I gained my stripes. Literally.
My stomach will never look quite the same again because it is sprinkled with stretch marks that we moms try to make sound nice by calling them tiger stripes. But that mom bod and now-jiggly tummy did something amazing…twice!
I literally GREW two new human beings and delivered them safely from my body onto this earth. Which is hands-down without-a-doubt the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
You’ll hear it said time and again mama – love your new body. But it’s hard — like really really hard — to look in the mirror and actually DO that.
I’ll be honest. I miss my flat teenage stomach. But I’d miss these babies even more.
And when I think about how they got here, yea, I definitely give myself a pat on the back. And you should too.
I don’t lose sleep.
Why yes, yes I do lose sleep.
But I know that one day when those babies are grown, I’m gonna miss lying with those sweet kiddos before bedtime. That’s when you hear all the good stuff – when they open up to you about their hopes and dreams. How they just want to snuggle with you, in their safe place, before they fall asleep.
In those moments, YOU are the most important thing in the world to your kids. That is a gift like none other.
Ahhhh, I get sad thinking about when those days are over.
Sleep is amazing.
But so is that time with our littles. And they are only little for so long.
I didn’t lose myself when I became a mom.
I’ve found a new version of myself. A more badass version of myself.
Life used to be so simple before I was a mother. Go to work, pay the bills, relax, repeat.
Now I am responsible for keeping three other humans alive. And not just that, I have to make sure they grow up to become good people.
I have to guide three little girls into making good decisions, while letting them be their own people and think for themselves.
I want to prevent my daughters from making the same mistakes I made when I was younger, while still letting them live life.
I want to encourage them to build their own relationship with God, and for them to want that – not just go to church because I make them.
And that is only a fraction of all the things we moms do on a daily basis.
Even things so seemingly basic such as packing lunches have more meaning than you’d think. You are not just nourishing your children — you are teaching them what it means to selflessly care for another human being.
Now THAT is purpose!
Motherhood isn’t about losing our sense of self or missing out on life. It is a gift that never stops giving, even when you don’t always realize that you’ve been blessed.
Our identity is not wrapped up entirely in motherhood, but being a mother definitely shapes us, changes us. You can never go back.
And I don’t know about you, but I’m grateful for that!
I’ve never felt so important, so needed, as I have being a mother. It can feel like a thankless job sometimes, but it is truly the most important job in the world.
Sometimes we just need to be reminded of that.
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