What Your Doctor Won’t Tell You About Breastfeeding
I didn’t ask nearly enough questions about breastfeeding before my baby was born.
I assumed that since breastfeeding was natural, it would be easy. I couldn’t have been more wrong…
Note: This post contains ad links to products I love and use; read our disclosure policy here.
The Truth About Breastfeeding (and what no one tells you)
The number one thing that most women (myself included) don’t realize beforehand: breastfeeding is tough, painful (sometimes excruciatingly so), and often discouraging.
However, breastfeeding does get better once you make it past those brutal first few weeks.
And sticking it out was the best decision I could have made!
Unfortunately, I see so many women get down on themselves and throw in the towel early. Often they carry guilt about “quitting,” wishing they had been able to breastfeed to whatever their original goal had been.
Before I go on, I just want to clarify that the purpose of this post is not to bash formula moms.
I’ll never know what it’s like to be in someone else’s place, so I’m not going to judge them for their decision on how and what to feed their baby.
However, since I breastfed my baby for over two years, I’m asked a lot of questions: what’s my “secret,” and what it “should” be like.
I wanted to share what I learned through months of trial and error in hopes that I can help others get the answers they didn’t know they needed before their baby arrived.
How I “Learned” to Breastfeed
First of all, I don’t think there’s truly a “right” way to breastfeed that works for everyone. It’s all about learning what works for you and your baby, and that takes time and practice.
In those early days, I had no clue what I was doing (and half the time no clue what was going on at all due to my post-surgery meds). I merely stared as the hospital’s lactation consultant pinched and shoved my breast in my baby’s mouth. That was about as comfortable as it sounds.
Throughout the next few weeks I suffered through upwards of twelve nursing sessions every day that sometimes stretched on for an hour at a time. My baby seemed insatiable, and to top it off, she often clawed at me, writhed in my arms, and screamed between gulps. My nipples were cracked and bleeding and she didn’t even seem to appreciate it!
Surely this wasn’t ok, this couldn’t be normal. Breastfeeding was supposed to be this wonderful bonding experience — it wasn’t supposed to HURT! Was I doing it wrong? Was my baby getting enough to eat?  Surely she had to be, since she was on my boob literally twelve hours a day, but I did have one doctor suggest that I supplement. My gut said no, and I pressed on, determined to make it work.
My mom suggested I reach out to one of my cousins for advice. I was a little nervous and ashamed to ask for help — I seemed to be failing big time and who wants to admit that? To my surprise, my cousin commiserated with my pain, and encouraged me to hang in there. She assured me that my body would get used to it, my baby would get better at it, and it wouldn’t hurt forever.
Related: How to find breastfeeding support near you
She was right. It took about three months, but one day I realized that it wasn’t painful anymore, at all. In fact, I kind of enjoyed nursing.
My baby was growing and thriving, and amazingly, she was a big baby (consistently 70th percentile).  That was a surprise, as both my husband and I are on the small side. My body alone was nourishing this little being, and was actually doing a darn good job at it! I was amazed and proud at the same time.
Pumping isn’t much fun, but it is do-able
Going back to work brought a new challenge: the dreaded pumping sessions. Twice a day I retreated to the third-floor (and not accessible to the public) bathroom where my supervisor had fixed up the handicapped stall for me with an armchair, table, and extension cord. The cleaning crew thoughtfully mopped almost every day, even though I was the only one using it.
Pumping took at least twenty minutes and was mind-numbingly boring. I would stay until I had replaced what I knew my baby was drinking while I was away.
Sometimes when I arrived home, to my despair, the baby had been extra hungry and dipped into a third bottle.  I then felt obligated to squeeze in a pump before bed to “catch up.” Every night I had to wash and sterilize all the pump parts and pack my bag for work the next morning. (I definitely recommend getting a spare set of parts— this is the set I bought to go with my Medela Pump-in-Style Advanced).
And so the cycle repeated until I left that job. It was an occasion worth celebrating when I putaway my pump for the last time.
Doctors don’t volunteer much information on breastfeeding—their primary goal is to get the baby out. From what I can tell, a lot of women are either too scared to ask or like me assume it will all be instinct. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a lactation consultant until she stopped by to check on me a few hours after birth (thank goodness!)
Since I get asked, what’s my “secret,” I wanted to share a few things that I learned the hard way. Knowing these from the start would have eased my worries and let me know that I was doing ok. Hopefully they will help you too!
5 “Secrets” I had known about breastfeeding before my baby was born:
- Newborn stomachs are tiny, maybe they size of a marble, so it doesn’t take much milk to fill them up at this point (the “magic number” of 4 ounces doesn’t apply until much later.) However, new babies aren’t very efficient and can take thirty minutes to an hour to get those few drops out. That could understandably be frustrating, so don’t think you’re doing something wrong if your baby cries— a lot.
- Breast milk digests quickly, so when your baby cries an hour after you last fed them, they ARE hungry. This doesn’t mean that you’re not making enough milk, it just means that they’ve already used up the milk in their tummy and need more. Your baby will nurse at least 8-12 times a day (and night) at first. If your baby is making lots of pee diapers then they are getting plenty to eat.
- Breastfeeding can be painful, very much so, for the first few weeks. Remember, you have a ravenous little person sucking on a very sensitive area for hours upon hours a day. Lanolin is your friend—apply liberally after every session. It can stain, so wear loose clothes (and nothing expensive…just in case you were thinking about dressing up…ha!)
- You will have people suggest supplementing with formula. Remember that this is their opinion, and even a doctor is not necessarily an expert on breastfeeding. It is ultimately your choice, so don’t let anyone pressure you either way. When in doubt, look up a lactation consultant in your area. They can show you techniques that might help or reassure you that you’re doing just fine. It is worth the expense if it brings you peace of mind, and some insurances may cover the service.
- It will get better! It doesn’t seem possible—I didn’t believe it either, but breastfeeding DOES get easier, in fact, it can become enjoyable. My baby looks forward to nothing more than mommy’s milk, and I treasure these precious moments where she needs only me. I know that it will all be over too soon and I’ll probably miss it.
Related: 11 Ways to Increase Breastmilk Supply
You’ve GOT this mama!
I won’t kid you by saying it will be easy or that you will love it right away, but if breastfeeding is important to you, then you CAN do it. I’m so glad I stuck it out, through all the pain, exhaustion, and tears—though I definitely don’t miss those early struggles!
If you’re worried or feeling discouraged, there are lots of great resources available— two of the most well-known and respected are La Leche League International and Kelly Mom. La Leche League publishes a guide called The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
and it is an excellent book on the subject.
Also, don’t be afraid to ask family and friends for help or advice! We’ve all been there, and all have different experiences to share. Sometimes it helps just to simply hear that someone else has gone through the same thing.
Whatever the outcome may be for you, whether your breastfeed for over a year or stop after 3 months (I’ve known friends who’ve done both), remember that you have accomplished a great thing. It’s no small feat to bring a baby into this world and it is equally amazing to provide (for any length of time) this perfect food your body created especially for them.
Please feel welcome to share your breastfeeding stories, advice, and encouragement in the comments below. Your words could help other mamas! You are also more than welcome to email me with any questions, as I’m happy to answer from my experience.
My Breastfeeding Essentials
These are some of the items that helped me reach my breastfeeding goals. Most of them are simple and inexpensive, but made my life so much easier!
- Lanolin to protect nipples
- Simple cloth diapers to protect clothes from spit-up, drool, etc. (I tucked them into my bra while she nursed)
- Extra set of pump parts (these are for the Medela Pump in Style Advanced, which worked very well for me)
- Extra set of Medela bottles (the only ones Annabelle would drink from)
- A good nursing bra (This one is so comfortable and even after over a year of use still is in amazing shape!)
- Steam Bags which allow you to quickly & easily sterilize pump & bottle parts and even pacifiers in the microwave (these were a lifesaver when I was working and pumping to keep breastfeeding!)
- Follow-up reading “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” by La Leche League
Check out my comprehensive guide to the Best Breastfeeding Products and Pumping Gear to learn more about what I used, why I used it, and where to get it!
LIKE this post? Connect with the Soccer Mom Blog on Facebook for daily ideas and inspiration:Â 
More from my breastfeeding experience:
- Pumping Breast Milk on the Job: How to Make it “Work”
- 5 Essential Weight Loss Tips for Breastfeeding Moms
- Where to Donate Breast Milk
- The Startling Breastfeeding Statistic You Need to Know
- How to Bond with Your Baby During Breastfeeding
Disclaimer: This post is based on my personal experiences– I am not a medical professional and this should not be taken as medical advice.
This post was originally published on April 19, 2015.
- 4th of July Pretzel Bites - June 3, 2026
- Celery Bug Snacks - June 2, 2026
- No Bake Cookie Dough Pie - May 28, 2026
The thing that helped me most was pumping after breastfeeding, from very early on – it drove up my supply and gave me a healthy backup supply of little bags of milk. As soon as my babe was done on side 1, I would put the pump on it while she had side 2. After she was done (and typically sleeping), I would put the pump on side 2. Even if I only got a smudge extra, my body got the idea that there was more demand. I started that in the hospital, even. Never needed formula for either babe, even when I went back to work. First baby nursed until 1, second until 2 but the last few months were bedtime only and I no longer pumped after first bday.
I started pumping about a month in to build my freezer “stash.” Your method sounds very efficient! I just waited until she was completely done, so it added a lot of time to the whole thing. Likewise, I only got maybe a half once a a session, but I was able to set aside a little stockpile. The funny part is once I became a SAHM she refused to drink bottles, so I have all this milk in the freezer she won’t ever finish! Perhaps there is somewhere local to donate!
None of my 3 ever took a bottle consistently. I did pump and freeze milk in ice cube trays (in the hopes that one would give me a break!) After they stopped nursing (all of them at about a year), I used the cubes to put in oatmeal or mix in with baby food. If they started to get the sniffles, I’d drop a cube in their cow’s milk. Breastmilk is also good for pinkeye and earaches. I ended up using most all that I had saved up! ?
That’s a great idea to freeze it in ice cube trays– I would imagine that cubes are a lot easier to thaw than an entire bag!
I pumped and froze For my first. (lots of early feeding issues) When i had no room in my freezer I found Human Milk for Human Babies on facebook. It is a milk sharing website. As baby gets older your milk changes, so milk for a 3 month old isn’t the same as for a 7 month old. I donated 61 litres while exclusively breastfeeding.
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one that could get out no more then half and oz from each breast..(at this point..I’m bearly 3.5 wks postpartum) hopefully it will build up!
Very encouraging to know I’m not “failing”.
You’re definitely not failing if you are trying your best! And at 3 weeks, your baby’s stomach is still fairly small. If your baby is gaining weight and making plenty of dirty diapers, then you’re doing just fine 🙂
I could relate to this whole post! I was adamant that I would exclusively breast feed for 6 months and I went through hell to stick to this. In the end my baby decided not to take a bottle and formula so after a slow process I have just stopped. She is 8 months. I would do it all again in a heartbeat but it is very hard! X
I’m so glad that you were able to meet your breastfeeding goal– that’s a major accomplishment! I feel the same way that I would definitely do it all over again, but it IS such hard work…and I’m not even done yet! 🙂
Loved reading this. I’m 2 1/2 weeks in with my first baby and breastfeeding really is hard work. Not everyone understands just how hard and I’ve been getting very discouraged. This article is great reassurance. Thanks!
So glad that you found this encouraging– that was exactly what I hoped for when writing! Congratulations on your new little one and making it this far! You’re still in the hard part but it will get easier I promise 🙂
I agree with Rebecca! I’m on my second week with my first child and it’s so nice to know I’m not the only one that may or may not cry at 2am when my little man latches! Thank you!
Hi Hannah, I’m glad that you found this encouraging 🙂 Those first couple weeks are just tough all around and it doesn’t help that no one is getting much sleep! Hang in there and be sure to reach out if it doesn’t get easier for you! The links at the end of the article for Kelly Mom and La Leche League are great places to start, and there are also some helpful reader suggestions in the comments.
This is a great article, and one I wish I could’ve read before I had my first son (who is now almost 4). I knew nothing about breastfeeding before having him. I live in the south and almost no one breastfeeds beyond 3 months. My goal was 6 months…which turned into 2 1/2 years!! It is amazing the myths and lack of information out there. When he was 8 weeks old, my boss was amazed that I wasn’t giving him formula. She said, “didn’t the pediatrician tell you he needs formula now instead?” People were always shocked that he only had breastmilk, and was a fat, healthy baby.
Thanks for letting me know you liked it! Two and a half years is really impressive–especially without much encouragement! I’m not sure I’ll get that far, but who knows? We’re already at a year and she’s showing no signs of wanting to stop 😉
I’ve got a 1-month-old and as she is my 3rd baby, I can see that breastfeeding seemed to get easier for me around 3 weeks old. My nipples got toughened up (don’t use lanolin – it slows the process!) and my baby has gotten a lot more efficient. Even as an experienced mother, I have been on the phone several times with the lactation consultant from the hospital because it’s just so confusing in the first weeks and I always prefer to ask than assume!
Thanks for sharing Margo! I asked family and friends who breastfed LOTS of questions in those early weeks, because you’re right– it is so confusing! A lactation consultant is definitely an excellent resource too– mine was very helpful in the hospital!
One thing I realized while nursing if it was hurt too much then baby was not latched on properly once I got baby to latch on completely then it was no problem at all, I still need to use the creams and oils also though! It is so much healthier for your baby to nurse even for the first couple of months anything is better than nothing, also is is a lot better for your body considering that’s what those things are for!
Once your baby learns how to nurse properly it is definitely much easier! It seems like anything else in life– it takes practice 🙂
I just want to say that its OK to supplement! You can always boost your supply later! My son lost a lot of weight and would not sleep more than 45 minutes and I was completely exhausted!! I supplemented with one bottle of similac supplementing formula at night and we were all able to sleep a little more… And low and behold my milk supply picked up! When you are too tired your supply will drop so it is imperative to get sleep! I got so much criticism for supplementing but after about two weeks of supplementing one bottle a day my son gained good weight, my milk supply picked up, I got more sleep, and our whole house was happier! You have to do what works for you and your family. I exclusively breastfed after the first month for six months and then he was ready for solids.
Hi Kim, thanks for sharing! I had a close friend who did something similar (used one bottle of formula while she was at work) and it took so much pressure off her that she was able to continue on and meet her breastfeeding goal. You absolutely have to do what is best for you and your family! What bothers me are the doctors that are ill-informed about breastfeeding and pressure women to supplement without considering other options, or just giving mom and baby time to get the hang of it. I’ve known far too many women who have given up (and were extremely disappointed about it) because their doctors told them it “wasn’t working.”
Thank you for the beautiful post! I’m still feeding my id twin girls (13 months) as they refuse a bottle and they are worse than newborns at night at times…. needless to say I’m tired. the breastfeeding itself is a breeze at this stage but the hours are tough…. yes, i know they should be able to go through the night but they don’t. your dr won’t tell you that either?
thanks again
I’m so happy that you liked this post Noa! I’m right there with you on the night feedings…it seems like she is more attached to them now than ever! I love these special moments, but the sleep deprivation does get tough after a while. I can’t imagine with twins– you are awesome!!
Breastfeeding itself was pretty easy for me but not all the surrounding issues… With my first I had bad postpartum and I was going to school. I felt like exclusively breastfeeding was the only thing I could do right (the depression talking), and I was “failing”. Pumping was REALLY hard, it took like an hour to get a couple ounces. Our extended family ended up giving her formula when I was gone or just asleep and I got mad about it, like really mad (ppd again). She actually refused bottles of any kind after 6 months, though since she ate solids it wasn’t too hard to work with. After a year I finally acknowledged the depression & got help & that made the biggest difference. But weaning was emotionally hard too. I nursed longer than I really wanted to (almost 3 years) because my husband couldn’t handle her crying, I couldn’t handle them both crying and nursing was easy.
With my second I had a plan for postpartum depression so everything was easier. Weaning too. Since he bit, and I was pregnant, I didn’t feel bad about stopping at 18 months.
Thank you so much for sharing Kristen! I’m so glad to hear that you decided to reach out and get the help you needed for PPD and were able to have a much more positive experience from then on. I totally understand nursing longer than you expected because it is “easier” haha. We’re still night feeding at 16 months, and even though she doesn’t “need” to eat in the middle of the night, it is much much easier to nurse then to have her cry (loudly) and keep everyone in the house awake. If it works for you and your family then that’s just what you have to do 🙂
It REALLY doesn’t have to be this hard! If you want good advice on breastfeeding from a doctor read Babywise.
good on this woman for sticking at it, but I am surprised she writes this experience like it was positive, it sounds like she had a RREALLY hard time, pain for months! And the baby feedjng every hour and screaming during feeds! This ia not normal. But it sounds like she just didn’t have the support she should have and that’s a shame. I am so impressed that she kept going, amazing job! What a devoted mom 🙂 But if this scared you and you want breastfeeding advice, read babywise and get the help of a lactation consultant or midwife or YouTube! For a better latch, and give your nipples a break, if you have to feed closer than 2 and 1/2 hours after the end of the last feed then maybe try and expess for that feed or if your nipples are cracked for every second feed
Hi Rosy,
That woman in this post is me 🙂 I did have excellent support from my family, but they just didn’t know a whole lot about breastfeeding themselves. My intention in writing this definitely wasn’t to scare anyone, but rather to encourage mamas who might be having a hard time. Just like childbirth is more difficult for some of us, so is breastfeeding. I just wanted other moms to know that they are not alone if they are struggling and that there are resources available to them to help make things easier. Thank you for reading and for your comments!