How to Keep Your Husband Attracted to You
No matter how long you’ve been married, the thought has probably crossed your mind: how could you possibly keep your husband attracted to you…forever?
I’m going to let you in on a little secret — we’ve been looking at the whole “attraction” thing all wrong! Keep reading to learn one of the surprising “secrets” of a happy marriage.
Do you know what your husband finds most attractive about you?
Before I became a mom, I wasn’t so worried about it.
I was young, my stomach was firm, and I wore makeup and fixed my hair every day. I bartended throughout college and for a few years afterwards, so I had men telling me all the time how attractive I was. (Not to sound conceited…being hit on is pretty much part of the job description.)
But the point is, I felt good about myself because I took care with my appearance. That was very important to me at the time, and I thought that was what mattered the most to my husband.
Related: Why Women Think the Dad Bod is Sexy
And then kids happened…
After I became a mom, and especially after I became a stay at home mom, I lost a little bit of that confidence.
I almost never had the time (or energy) anymore to bother with straightening my hair or putting on makeup. Some days I never even changed out of my pajamas.
On those days, I definitely didn’t feel attractive.
I wondered if my husband secretly felt bamboozled.
He had married this young, skinny, tan, and energetic girl. Now here I was, an exhausted, stressed-out, greasy-haired, frumpy t-shirt-wearing old lady. (At least that’s how I felt more often than not.)
How could he possibly be attracted to me when I looked like a hot mess and crashed on the couch most nights as soon as the girls were in bed?!
Do you know what men find most attractive?
Stop guessing…ASK!
I straight-up asked my husband: “what is it about me that is most attractive to you?”
His automatic response was a typical guy answer: “your butt!”
Ha. Ok.
But then he got serious and explained that he loves how we laugh together. That we have a chemistry and we make a great team in life. That he knows we can do anything together.
I think I had been missing the mark this whole time. My husband didn’t marry me for my butt. There are lots of women out there with even nicer behinds, but he didn’t ask them to be his wife. Of course physical connection counts, but there is so much more to attraction than just looks.
Think about it…
Does your husband still look the same as when you first started dating?
Does it really matter?
I know that when I see my husband look at his little girls and his eyes light up with adoration, I couldn’t love him any more than I do in that moment.
I could care less if he’s wearing old sweatpants, or if he hasn’t shaved since yesterday, or if he smells like sweaty shoes after playing basketball with the guys.
What your husband really wants is…YOU
Instead of focusing on what we think is “wrong” with us, or areas where we feel we’ve “let go” (hello, make-up!) — we should focus on what we’re doing right….AND what your spouse is doing right too.
Remember, you chose your husband out of every other man on this planet!
And he chose you!
Want to keep your husband attracted to you?
Nurturing the bond and the chemistry that brought you together in the first place will make your marriage stronger and give you the confidence that YOU are the one woman he needs.
And confidence is sexy!
Try it!
Tonight, ask your husband what he thinks is most attractive about you…his answer might surprise you.
If you want to keep your husband attracted to you, just be you.
That’s what he fell in love with in the first place.
Recommended reading:
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I struggle with gaining weight because of a medicine I have to take since I met my husband. I no longer feel sexy nor do I have a healthy body image of myself. He tells me that its not a problem for him but I am reluctant to believe him. Our sex life is suffering because of me and my insecurities about the weight. I no longer take off my shirt and i do not ever initiate sex.
Hi Beverly, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. Have you asked your doctor about all of the side effects of the medicine? Is it possible that it is causing mood changes as well? I understand feeling self-conscious after weight gain (I gained 40+ pounds during pregnancy and it took almost a year to lose it), but you shouldn’t be feeling down all the time. Since it is interfering with your marriage, I would definitely let your doctor know. But in the meantime, trust your husband and accept his compliments. Part of marriage is loving each other through all of our ups and downs and whether or not we still look like we did when we were 20! (I think we can be a lot harder on ourselves about things our husbands barely notice or care about!)