The experts say we need a mom-cation to improve our mental health, but I have one question for those experts…
The experts say we need a “mom-cation”
Mom-cation [mom key-shuh n] noun — a trip away from the rest of the family, usually with one’s girlfriends.
Lately I’ve seen a lot of articles urging moms to take a mom-cation, for their mental health. According to psychologists, for best results a mom-cation should last for two days or more.
I’ve got one question for these so-called experts…
Are you going to watch my kids?
‘Cause I’ve got three of them! (And one of them is still breastfeeding!)
Stop telling moms that we need mom-cations
Don’t get me wrong, a mom-cation is a lovely idea. It’s just simply not practical for most of us!
1. Childcare for 3 kids = a unicorn
To be fair, I’ve taken a work-related trip in the past that lasted the same as these highly-touted two-day mom-cations. However, this was when we only had two kids.
With three kids, it’s tricky to find someone to watch all of them for an evening. The grandmas are helpful, but you can tell after babysitting the girls for a few hours they are more than happy to hand ’em back over!
Oh, and did I mention that my youngest daughter is still breastfeeding?
It might get easier to coordinate a mom-cation when your kids are older, but with babies it’s a near impossibility!
2. I don’t even like being away from my kids that long
Maybe I’m alone in this, but after few hours away from my family, I start to miss them like crazy!
I’m not even sure the feeling is mutual — on my aforementioned work trip, my three-year-old got bored after like two minutes of Face-timing.
However, I get SO lonely when I’m away from my loud, rambunctious crew! I actually miss hearing “mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom” all the time! (Admit it, you do too!)
Honestly, all I need is a few hours of “me time” to feel recharged, whether it’s yoga class, a pedicure, or brunch with my girlfriends.
Maybe someday when all of my girls are teenagers I’ll be ready for that weekend away…so get back to me in a few years!
3. Moms already have enough to worry about
Look, we all deal with enough mom shaming already. Why add one more thing to the list?
First we’re told that we’re not being present enough with our kids.
Then we’re told that our generation is turning into “helicopter” parents.
Now we have to worry about the fact that we’ll be less mentally sane if we can’t take a mom-cation?
Sorry…not sorry, but I don’t have time for that!
I’m busy enough just trying to make sure that everyone gets a bath on a semi-regular basis!
Want to be a happy mom?
I’m not an expert, but I do know that you don’t need a mom-cation to be a happy mom.
There are so many other ways to practice self care:
- Eat a giant piece of chocolate cake
- Go to yoga class
- Take an extra long shower
- Go for a walk
- Pop open a bottle of wine and pop on Netflix
That’s my go-to list anyway. The best part is that none of those things require a ton of extra time, planning, or money, so I can do them pretty much whenever I want!
Look, if you’re craving a mom-cation and you have the ability to do it, by all means go!! Especially if your husband goes on “guys weekends” — fair is fair! (And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!)
My point is that it’s ok if you can’t take a mom-cation right now. And it’s ok if you don’t want to!
You do you! I’ll do me. And we’ll both be good moms. And we’ll both stay sane. Mostly…
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Ready to become your happiest self??
Kelly is a friend and colleague whose work has changed the lives of countless families. Her new e-book shares the recipe to:
- Stop feeling overwhelmed. Get a handle on the swirling chaos of to-do items and appointments and “should”s in your head.
- Set yourself up for a happy day, every day. Find out the ingredients you need in your day in order to become your happiest self.
- Catch yourself before you lose your cool. Learn what to do when you lose your patience with a temper-taming toolkit of proven tools to get you back on track.
- Heal after the storm. For the days when you do lose your cool, you’ll get the exact steps to flush the bad mojo from your body and repair the relationship with your child (or your partner).
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Last updated on February 13th, 2019 at 08:26 pm